AGH!

I like to think I am a kind and trusting person. Having said that I know that I have become a lot more jaded and cynical over the years. Wasn't born yesterday after all (don't laugh). Our City has had so many reported instances of a new breed of scam artist. Seemingly distraught people on their way to the hospital, only to find they've run out of gas, left their wallet at home in a rush or inadvertently taken the wrong bag so have no ID, cards or cash. cry me a river right? A few years ago I was approached by someone who looked like a bum with that same story in the Wal-Mart Unicity Parking Lot. I told them to go talk to customer service. I mean wouldn't you?

Today I'm walking down Corydon at a fairly brisk pace when I hear HONK, HONK, HONK and a woman comes rushing across the street, barely making it. She appears flustered, I smile and give her the "that was a close one look" and continue on my way quite quickly. Next I hear "excuse me, excuse me" She's wearing black pants, black shirt and carrying a black sweater - in this weather?? Looked like the middle age (not my age) grandma type

Lady - are you from Winnipeg?

Me - yes (smiling)

Lady - well, I'm obviously not (laughing). I'm from Hadishville, do you know where that is, just west of Winnipeg on the #1 toward Kenora?

Me - (in a rush) ok (shrugging shoulders, sure, she could be)

Lady - well I'm having a bit of a dilemma (starts rambling)

Me - (interrupting) ok, so what's your dilemma?

Lady - I'm on my way to the hospital, I've got baby stuff in the car. My nephew grabbed the wrong back pack today, I don't have mine. I tried calling there I don't even know if my niece got the message (can you hear the alarm bells in my head?) I just.

Me - you know what? I've heard this story before. I've become very cynical - I'm sorry, but I can't help you

Lady - (face drops like a rock, sadness pours out of her) - oh, I'm sorry - I was just going to ask you for a few quarters

Me - (war of the worlds now going on in my brain as I study her for a moment) ok, a few quarters I can do

Lady - no, no

Me - ya, I can do a few quarters, good luck

Lady - thank you. I'm sorry your so cynical have a good day

I proceed down the street, not even two steps - I turn around and she is GONE, I mean nowhere to be seen - GONE

So have I made the right move, sent a scam artist packing? Or turned away a fellow human in need??? Maybe an angel in disguise? The girls at work seem to think I got taken for a long ride and just encountered the latest in a long line of people who've taken the scam out of the parking lot and into the neighbourhood. What else could I have done? See if she kept digging a hole, asked for a specific amount, that she would mail me a cheque? I almost offered up my cell phone for her to make a call, but didn't want it to get stolen.

On another note - is hitch hiking illegal in Manitoba? I saw an RCMP officer picking up a hitch hiker on the trans-Canada between Winnipeg & Headingley - just curious.

CPR & First Aid - What a Riot!

Ok, so maybe that's not the first that comes to mind when you take CPR/First Aid - but I gotta say our trainer was a keeper. James walked in a little flustered and stand offish yesterday when he arrived almost 15 minutes late due to a mix up at the office, but quickly turned it around with dry humour and hilarious analogies and stories. Like the fact that his favorite types of casualties are the unconscious ones, they don't argue, fight back or deny treatment. I mean sure its easier to figure out what's wrong if they can speak, but hey - if they they're resisting you because they're choking, bleeding or screaming in panic and rapidly progressing towards shock its a lot easier to treat them once they hit the ground. If they won't give consent for treatment - you can't treat em, but once they're unconscious - they're fair game!!

I especially like his story of his sister (who is a paramedic in rural Manitoba) got to a call at remote location - stab wound in the stomach, foreign object still imbedded (best place for them till you get to the hospital by the way), perp took off and the girl friend called 911. Later, when the ER Dr. made his report, he noted two stab wounds. The officers said not so - the girlfriend said one stab and the assailant took off. Police investigated a little further and found that when the girlfriend called 911 the operator had told her very specifically - don't remove the knife - apparently she'd already done that - SO SHE PUT IT BACK - didn't quite get it into the same spot.

Aside from all that I learnt so much. It was a great course, I highly recommend EVERYONE get it. There was so much I didn't know about and just 8 hours gives you so much information. May never use it, but if I need it - I got it.

Did you know that if you get to the scene of an accident or person in distress you can evaluate the situation and make a decision whether or not to help - BUT once you've begun helping - you are committed. Till someone else takes over, or its called abandonment.

So you think you can dance?

Oh my - those kids (yes I'll call them kids, they're all of 12!!) CAN DANCE. I love watching the dancing and listening to the judges! Ok, so they're not 12, those young adults move like something out of a dream! Can you tell I like it? I hate when my opinion of the performance clashes with the judges. I especially want to scream when one of them starts off with "I just love the choreography" cause you know what's coming next - BASHING. I'll be completely taken with something and they turn around and totally trash it. The one blonde with short hair (judge) completely ruins the moment on an ongoing basis. She has a cute hair cut - but the rest... Mary, well she needs to take it down a few notches. Nigel - sometimes he's right, sometimes I'm right. Good thing I'm not a judge, I could not handle the pressure. My favorite performance so far was last week when one couple did a hip hop dance to "No Air" (is that by Jordan Sparks?) Anyway, boring post, but thank goodness for PVR and my treadmill this morning cause dh watched it last night without me!

Contrast...

Sunday I had a great morning run. I woke up and was out the door by 7:30am. I had to be somewhere at 10am to pick up a BBQ for our church picnic and then had plans to invite my brothers and their families for supper. So morning was my only hope. 10 degrees and almost no wind to speak of. Off I went with my IPod. I don't always plug in - sometimes I'll just wear the headphones to keep the wind out, or keep people from talking to me. Not yesterday though, I turned it on and turned it up. I have such a huge mix of music and I never know which genre I will be treated to. Sunday's line up happened to begin with several campsongs. How nice, I started to feel very spiritual and appreciative of my surroundings. "Lord in your mercy, here our prayer." I listened to a couple more than once, I was feeling very peaceful. that's when it hit. I was calmly waiting to hear what the next song would be when - LOVE SHACK, baby LOVE SHACK comes screeching through my headphones - nearly knocked my socks off. By the time I'd run a few strides the peaceful feeling was gone, to be replaced by a very assertive, aggressive get the heart rate going kind of feel good adrenaline. What a difference. Some days I wonder if I have a split personality (more like how many times its been split!!). Song selection is usually mood dependent, I never know what songs are going to turn my crank at any given moment. Then other times, like Sunday, the mood picks me.

Today I should (should being not so bad, as I did skate last night) have run, should have got up, should have had some me time. Instead I've just kept moving all day long, till now. Little things are irritating the heck out of me and each time I crawl out of the mood something really tiny happens to send me spinning again. Exercise adrenaline is the best kind. I will get up tomorrow and start my day off right.

what drives me crazy?

among other things... BAD DRIVERS

sudden idiotic moves turn this otherwise mild mannered, well behaved, kind individual into a venom spewing, road raged crazy person. I've already told my girls - when I make the conscious decision to go 10km below the speed limit at all times, they know its time to yank my license (if not before). I tend to take full on rush hour traffic as a matter of course, but plop me onto my rural highway and I can't stand the Sunday drivers (on weekdays) and the blue haired ladies who feel they should turn onto the highway with no concern for how fast I might be coming. I go just about ballistic trying to reason why someone might be pulling dumb *** moves in the first place.

I feel better now.

It is what it is...

A lot of things happen in life that you have to shake your head at. I honestly felt that after Marilee died that I would never be the same. Some part of me changed forever. I didn't get mad at God, but I did get mad in general. I cried, I grieved, I ran as far as I possibly could just to get away from the pain in my heart. I drove to work everyday and sat in my car wondering why or how to go in. I listened to the songs we sang at her funeral over and over again. I wondered if I was at first obsessed with the songs, maintaining a connection to the funeral, maintained a connection to the person. Now that I have some distance I think it was more along the lines of comfort - it did give me a connection I didn't want to break. Then, ever so gently I was able to let those go. I can listen to the songs, I can sing them. I don't cry, they just let me be. I didn't want to feel absolute heartbreak every time I heard those songs. So maybe it was self preservation. By the time I was done with them, they were done with me. I still think about her almost everyday. I examine my own mortality on a regular basis. I wonder about the mortality of those around me. Not in a morbid way, but a curiosity really. It is what it is.

DH's stepmom has just been diagnosed with a non-hodgkins lymphoma. I'm sad and scared for her. What will it all mean? Further results and prognosis are yet to come. How will my kids deal with the loss of a grandparent. That leads me to think of their other grandparents, which includes my parents. How will I deal with that? People do, everyday. It is what it is.

I'm sad for KT, she has just lost her mom. I can't do anything to help ease that pain. I hadn't even met her and that makes me sad. It is what it is.

Every March and June I wonder about the nephews that I lost. What they meant to their hopeful parents. The little boys that they would have become. Then I remember I how very grateful I am to those little lives, they paved the way for their brothers to enter this world safely - this too, is what it is.

When I was younger, I used to pray - no, BEG - God for certain outcomes. Now. I pray "thy will be done" and for strength for those who need it. Someone told me recently its ok to ask "please make them better, if it is thy will". God's will - is what it is.

This all of course leads me to ultimate questions on faith, destiny, and my steadfast belief that everything happens for a reason. My faith is a constant, though I constantly have questions. **sigh** it is what it is.