something different, not wrong, just different
My car left without me today... yes Mandy passed her drivers!! YAHOO! I can barely describe the feeling of relief when she walked through the testing doors with a look of absolute triumph on her face. I couldn't bare for her to be disappointed again, though I suppose if she could bare it, so could I. She was funny when she said, "mom, I knew I had it, I was coming back to the building thinking that as long as I didn't hit a pedestrian - I had it!" What a rush!
Now... I don't know what is worse. Waiting for her to pass, or waiting for her to bring her and her sister home safe and sound from the movies, in the big city... I know every parent goes through this with every stage. I have become very good at squashing any feelings of angst for my kids, that is until there is something to worry about. I guess this is the same thing, only a new level. She's never before had a huge pile of metal to back up her actions. Ever since the girls were little I have completely forgotten about them when they are not with me. It was for my own good. (and probably theirs). To think about them, was to worry. So I chose not to think about them.
Its a little hard today. I want to fret. But I know this too shall pass. It won't be today I get a frantic phone call... it will be some other day when I least expect it. Yes, a little dramatic, I know. Its just what's in my head and heart - right now.
I'm going to go read my book. The library called today - the latest installment of the Jamie & Claire Fraser saga is in my hot little hands! What better way to distract myself... hmmm, I guess there's always a glass of wine...