Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Is 11 years a long time?

I've worked for the same guy for 11 years. That seems like a long time. I have no plans to change careers, but I do find myself thinking more and more about whenever I might be done. It will be a while yet. We are in no way secure enough to retire. But a girl can dream can't she? I have always said I like my job. And I do. But (there's always a but) change is in the air. Ever since we lost our CFO (and that has only been a month) things seem to have accelerated. We're not replacing him. That's ok. They've divvied up his responsibilities and hopefully it will all work out. But things are different. Put someone different in his office (of course, space is a commodity), processes change, people are moving around. I've always said change is good, or "its not wrong, its just different". But right now I feel overwhelmed by the differences. Our office manager and I take turns getting depressed it seems. She has it worse. He was her boss. How hard would that be. I shudder to think. I envision a lengthy career yet, with me retiring a day or three after my boss does. That's my hope. I have to focus on the here and now. It is really hard to not play the "what if" game. I worry about the other execs in our office who could suffer the same fate. I worry about the defibrillator in the cupboard beside my desk and wonder if I could be effective with it if I had to be. Emotions in the office are a moving target. Somedays are good, some are bad. Most people have already moved on well enough. That is the nature of the beast. Sometimes you have to fake it till you make it.


Blogger Jo said...

I totally understand this. This mixture of emotions is hard to temper in the heat of what has all gone on. Stop yourself to breathe. You are ok. You are fine. All we have is here and now.
I am feeling scared with change myself.
We will get through it.

3:51 PM  

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