Growing up...

I think about Mandy's trip on a constant basis right now. Mostly its just that she'll be ready to go, won't forget, or be missing anything and that I get her to the plane on time! (she leaves July 3 early afternoon) I'm taking off July 2/3 so any last minute things won't be an issue. Friday night we went to MEC to get her a backpack (one that rolls and has a daypack attached - way cool). After I actually get her on the plane then I can settle into the monumental task of waiting patiently for her to return (safe & sound). I'm so excited for her to go and experience this trip of a life time. At the same time I'm terrified of her being half a world away. I will miss her. I remember the first time she went to camp. A week at Moose Lake, 2 hours away, she was 8 or 9 years old. We got her all checked in, Samantha was excited to see her off. While we toured the camp a little bit we realized the black flies were biting - Samantha did not like that one bit! Her excitement quickly turned to dismay. Samantha was crying inconsolably. You know the cry, where they try and talk and it comes out like someone is stepping on their stomach, with wrenching breaths in between?? "I - don't - think - W E - should - leave - M A N D Y - here". She was a mess. It completely distracted me from the same feeling as we watched Mandy skip off to be with kids she didn't even know. so fearless. As we drove away I sat facing the back seat for 20 minutes holding Samantha's hand as she cried and cried. I didn't get to indulge in my own feelings of loss or anxiety. I had to be brave for Samantha, my crying would surely have sent her over the edge.

I'm thinking Samantha will come to the airport on the 3rd. Good thing. I'll need her there, only this time I'm wondering if she will distract me. Or maybe it will be her turn to hold my hand.